The Master Manipulator (every store needs one)

I started this blog a bit over a year ago to inspire myself to write, to paint, and to focus.  That's no exaggeration, but obviously it requires a bit more explanation than I'm going to give it right now.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Today, it's fair to say I've had some success, though it's also fair to say I went about it all wrong and would have done much, much better if I knew then what I know now.  That's part of the reason I've set out to write my series on Blood of Kittens called On Blogging, to help new bloggers understand the environment - but that's neither here nor there.


CliffNotes: the MM(esno) is starting his own blog, which will focus on painting... check it out here!

The Master Manipulator (every store needs one) has watched this blog for some time - how long, I'm not sure.  I didn't actually tell my friends what I was doing, nor did I ask them to read it.  I think that's a bit like become a salesman to sell Amway to your friends and family.  I figured if they were interested, they'd read it.

Part of Strictly Average has always been the running gags, such as...

...the idea that I'm a crazy net-stalker on the hunt for Jawaballs.  (He is.)  Some of the gags are newer and some never get off the ground.  The oldest gag of all is the Master Manipulator (every store needs one).

What's that mean, I hear you ask?  Simply that: his name.  I give nicknames to everyone, because I didn't want to use their real names in my blog.  Some of these are obvious to any reader, new or old, and some are things only I find funny.  Most everyone who's read my blog has liked - or at least accepted - the names I stuck them with.

The only exception is He Who Shall Not Be Named.  That's funny, too!

Still, at the time I had no idea what he'd think about it.  What was I supposed to say?  Louis is a Type A, OCD control-freak who keeps us moving in one direction?  That's not funny, no matter how true it is.  Instead, I came up with a nickname that means pretty much the same thing, but with humor and a nod of appreciation for everything he does for all the rest of us... which is significant.

Do you have one guy in your store that is constantly asked, "Hey, what rule is that..?" or "How does this work..?" or "What does that mean..?"  or "Are you sure about that?" or... you get the idea.  He gets constantly badgered, and sometimes I wonder if the rest of them realize they do it.  I know I do.

Doesn't matter.  That's the price he pays.  He's the one that organizes the tournaments, which means for years he's been the judge.  His interpretation is the final say in our store, and to that I say, "Better him than me."

He'd better be right.  He has to be right.  No, I don't mean it that way, although that's true too, what I mean is if he messes up a judgment or misreads an interpretation he's going to catch hell about it... Evil Homer will make sure of that.

Evil Homer is my nemesis and our resident rules lawyer.  He'd better not even try to deny it, 'cause he owns that one.  Right now he's been complaining the bible (the new Warhammer book) is too heavy to read on the toilet.

No, I'm being serious.

If the Master Manipulator (every store needs one) doesn't know a rule or a book or the latest wrinkle on an interpretation of RAW or RAI, Evil Homer will sniff it out and come after him with it.

Right now, Evil Homer is new to Warhammer, but there's no doubt he's hoovering the magic section like the Storm Buster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven, memorizing every nuance and applying his Homer-noggin for every possible broken application.  He'll do it, too.

The point is, the Master Manipulator (every store needs one) had to have found the blog, read a post, sorted out who I was talking about (that would have taken 3 seconds), and decided how to feel about it all on his own, 'cause I didn't tell him about it.

I did laugh the first time I saw the name come up in the comments section.  I realized he'd embraced it, which is good: a joke's only really funny if its shared with others.  (A beer bottle to the skull is a good reminder of what happens when a joke isn't appreciated, as Brent learned yesterday.)

So he's started his own blog; here's his first post.  He's read mine for a year and he and Evil Homer both have lurked forums for far longer than I, so you'd think he knows what he's getting into.  I'm not sure he does, but if anyone can figure it out, it is a Type A, OCD control-freak with a passion for the hobby since... well, forever.

I'll be sure to support him... here's hoping he doesn't suck!