Auto Response: Critic X, Insert Y

I haven't been in the mood to post, lately, but I'm seasoned enough at this blogging thing not to sweat it too much.  You've all seen the, "Sorry I've been away," blog posts - heck, I've written more than a few over the years - but it occurred to me this morning...

...I ain't all that sorry!  Hugs and gropings all around, though.

It's not that I don't love this medium; I do.  But sometimes real life takes a toll on hobby time.  When my hobby time gets thin, I can either cut writing or cut painting or cut playing.  With blogging, I can cut  one of the latter two - painting or playing - and still have something to write about.

But not both.  When I have to choose one outlet, the last I'll give up is playing.  

Interestingly, as I wrote that I realized I almost typed 'painting.'  I had to reconsider.  While I spend vastly more time painting than either of the other two Activities of Daily Hobbying, or ADH's, playing is the most important.  It's where I socialize with my friends and hang out at a place that's neither work nor home.  There's something about the store that relaxes me.

And my job is very, very stressful!  I'm sure you all feel that way, but Brent's job has got to be up there.  Still, the acute unit of a psyche ward has taught him a thing or two about dealing with Un-Fans and other critics, so there you go.

Jawaballs!  Where was I?  Never mind.  

Lately I've just worried about getting in the weekly Bell of Lost Souls articles.  My last one was interesting, but there was a comment by a reader that I responded to.  At first, I thought he was a bit Trollish, but then he used the word 'cogent' so he automatically doesn't qualify.  Trolls, oh Faithful Reader, are concerned with many things, but brevity and concise thought aren't among their qualities.  

Nor mine, really.  Here was my response, but it could be the auto response for any article.

So don't read them.
I'm not being hateful; I couldn't be more serious. I get that some people don't like my style - that's okay. But I write about a wide range of hobby related topics and, like it or not, the numbers don't lie. And frankly, I draw numbers.
I love comments, and they can really drive a thread count if there is good debate. But the real figure we all look at is page views and time spent per page. Meaning the number of people who read an article versus the number of people who comment is staggering.
On Bell, we write with an eye to both audiences, but there are well known blogs that have removed comments completely, for a variety of good reasons I won't go into here. Blood of Kittens comes to mind.
Which isn't to say I haven't written crap articles! After 129 on Bell alone, it happens. You go through slumps, or get scattered approaching a deadline - that kind of thing. This article, however, isn't one of those. It's fine. The point isn't even cleverly concealed! Still, I get if you don't like it, that's okay. Regardless, I appreciate comments, I always read them, and they do influence what and how I write!

What's really left to say?
(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.


I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

Popular Posts