Strictly Average: The Morning of 'Ard Boyz

8.13.2011

The Morning of 'Ard Boyz

It's 6:11am. I have my first cup of coffee in hand, and for some reason I'm slightly worried I'm going to spill it on the MacBook Pro.

The 15-Inch. 'Cause that's how I roll.

(Unrealistic.)

The Professor will soon be pulling up in the minivan. I guess that's how we'll roll.

(Family style.)

Inside he'll have The Mighty Mighty Carlos, The Card Pimp in Question, and Jeremy 2 Rich.

No, that's not their real names, but it should be.

(Groovy.)

I warned them at the store that I'll be claiming the front seat this morning. Bad leg. Neurological disorder.

(Gimp.)

The Card Pimp said, "You're the oldest rider, that's your spot anyway." Respect!

(Advancing age.)

I like that kid I do. I remember not too long ago, I said *SELF-EDIT* like that. It's a sign of proper parenting.

You just don't think it'll one day apply to you.

(Advancing age, I said.)

6:23am. They'll be here soon.

I suppose I'd better brush my hair.

(It's thinning.)

They'll be some young guns at 'Ard Boyz today. Youth and strength.

(Age and treachery.)

(I fancy our chances.)

7 comments:

40K + T&A said...: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AoOa-Fz2kw; August 13, 2011 at 7:28 AM
Thor said...: Good luck today.; August 13, 2011 at 7:35 AM
Charles Jack Ross said...: Good luck; August 13, 2011 at 8:12 AM
Syaoran said...: Give them Hell, well you are chaos after all.; August 13, 2011 at 10:15 AM
idget said...: Not 17"?
Son, I am disappoint.; August 13, 2011 at 7:06 PM
Splinter said...: Hand them their... 'rhubarb'... I'll be looking for the chunks of 'took-us' I lost today.

I'll be in the corner...

CK; August 13, 2011 at 9:32 PM
40K + T&A said...: nya ha ha the Green tide rolls on to the Semi's; August 13, 2011 at 10:38 PM

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(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.

Ass.

I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.