6.03.2010

What Does He Have I Don't?

The question refers to a joke I made in my article over on Blood of Kittens titled Strictly Plasticard.  If you haven't read it, take a few minutes and give it a once over.  Moving on though, the punchline was, "... in high school the answer was a cool car, a hot girlfriend, and way too much sex."

But this last week I've had some experiences that prompt a variation on a theme.  Today, let's ask What Does That Game Have That 40K Doesn't?

Let's start with the mother of all dead games, Confrontation.

Here's a selection of my Acheron - that is, the Order of the Ram or the Undead, take your pick of names.  Anyway, Con is a skirmish battle game, and at the points levels we've been playing lately you won't have more than 20 models, and most armies won't have more than 10.

I've posted recently about how much I hated playing this game in the past but that recent experiences have changed my mind... but what is that specifically?

Let's take a statement made by the Master Manipulator (every store needs one)... and keep in mind when analyzing anything said by this man that it could be a subtle meme, a word virus of sorts designed to change your mind, pointing it toward a worldview more palatable to the powers that be.  Namely, him.

He said that most of his top 10 gaming experiences have come from this game.  I had one of these moments a few nights ago, so now I get what he means.

The system has a rule called the 'exceptional wound' where if you roll a double to damage (as any roll to wound is made on 2d6) you automatically, with no save possible by your opponent, do him a dirty.  A double 3 is a light wound, a double 5 is a critical wound... you see where this is going?  A double 6 is DEATH.

Boxcars, baby!

I took my Acheron army over to Little Barrera's house on Tuesday and played a game against his Mid-Nor.  That's a faction of evil Dwarves who keep their essence in a separate puppet for protection; imagine a runty little dude with a teddy bear, but its an EVIL teddy bear - how cool is that?

Anyway, our forces lined up.  Across the field of battle I could see what looked at first glance like a tower, and mounted upon that was a cannon wielded by shadowy shapes.  Then the tower moved, thudding inexorably toward my line.

How cool is that?

I set my Heavy Centaur on a path to charge the model, hoping to soften it up for Cerberus, but I underestimated how far this thing could charge and so on turn 1 this monstrosity is all over me like a WAAC-Playa' on a baby seal!

He hit me, knocking off dusty bits of bone and archaic armor, and I swung back, with huge negatives on my wound roll due to his massive resilience...

BOX CARS BABY!

The dice roll 6 and 6, and instantly me, Little Barrera, Farseer Tim, and the Master Manipulator (every store needs one) go berserk laughing and jeering.

I had my moment.

(to be continued)

2 comments:

Master Manipulator (every store needs one) said...

I so can't wait for the rest of this story....

Classic I tell ya...just classic!

The_King_Elessar said...

I'm afraid I skipped the story, because I wanted to look at pictures. The last pic reminds me, in a strange, not really, kind of way, or The Labyrinth. And that makes me smile.

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.

Ass.

I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

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