6.15.2010

Honoring Battleforce Armies: Necrons

Hello, hello!  Today on Honoring Battleforce Armies the Strictly Average Edition tm, we look at that most unimpressive of races, the Necrons.

Yes, the Necrons - proof GW should release yearly updates in order to sell more models.  Hell, we'll settle for every three years, won't we boys and girls!  Every five?



This army was painted in one week - gasp!  One week?  Yes, one week!  It was painted in one week by Brent, our hero, preferred two-to-one over Not Brent in an absolutely scientific poll conducted by Dethtron.

We love Dethtron here at Honoring Battleforce Armies, the Strictly Average Edition tm.  You should love anyone who's made a name for himself mocking everyone in long, involved parodies called Friday Night Fights.  That's obviously a dude who'll take the time to put the boot to you but good.  In an internet-oriented, trolling sorta way, of course - but dead is dead is dead.

Is dead.  Here's the army.

(Hey Bob, where's the Monolith?  Whadda'ya mean, you don't know?  This is such a chickenshit operation - cut to camera two.)

That's right, including the Monolith - and wasn't that a great model, boys and girls? - this army is exactly 1850 points.  Or was that 2000?  Ah, what does it matter, it's a self-contained army!

So, how effective is it?

Mmm... let's appreciate the subtle green glow cast by the gauss weapons!

So how effective is it?

Er... boy, this whole army was painted in a week!

So how effective is the army?

...

Not very.  It's a hobby army!  Well, no it wasn't meant to be a hobby army.  What's your point?

(The Point?  To be continued...)

8 comments:

grimcron said...

... my point is, if you do not win then you must have done something very wrong and I have done something very right.

Brent said...

Can you expand on your thought? I'm really not sure what you mean, Grim!

I did okay with my 'Crons, but it was never an army I used much.

Part of the problem is the composition, which is what Part 2 is about.

Papa JJ said...

Is that one squad made up of Space Crusade necrons? I hope they're your counts-as Immortals because they deserve it. Nice looking army for only one week of effort, too bad they didn't perform as well as you would have liked. I stopped working on Necrons about 1200 points into my army, but in my case I burned out on the painting. I wasn't trying to take shortcuts and after a while just couldn't paint anymore of them.

In case you are interested for demographic purposes, I am one of those who voted Not Brent in Dethtron's poll. I regretted my vote at first but then felt okay about it after your self-promotional campaign set in. I am however one of the apparent few who liked your stormraven, if that softens the pain any.

Herr Fernseher said...

"Is dead" is one of the more succinct transitions--and appropriate for Necrons--I've ever read.

That's why I read Strictly Average's entries on boring topics (Necrons)--even boring can be done with style!

What year did you start this army?

The_King_Elessar said...

This post tastes like Kool Aid. ;)

Loving the Chaos Androids as Necron Warriors, kinda. Well, I love that you are using them, just not the way you've put the crappy translucent plastic in. :)

Shame about the broken lord. :(

Paintjob seems pretty nice too.

Brent said...

That's okay Papa. The important thing was having folks vote at all, thus the whole advertising blitz.

Dethtron put up that poll 2 days after the normal Friday Night Fight poll - my goal was to beat it in numbers. I wanted more voters and almost got them. I overtook that poll briefly but it wasn't to be.

I think all the cool kids voted Not Brent. Chumby did, darn it all.

Still, it's better they're talking about you than not talking about you.

King: Man you're good! Yea, the whole Kook Aid comment inspired this post. (Man, that bummed me out - where did he get that, I wonder?) I thought I'd bring up the past, when I did drink the Kool Aid...

Chumbalaya said...

I like cherry Kool-Aid.

Not Brent has nicer Necrons. With Nightbringer. And Pariahs. On second though, forget the Necrons.

Dethtron said...

every time you say Dethtron an angel gets its wings...and my google alerts gets a boner..

I actually thought of picking up 'crons when i first got back into the hobby back in aught six since they looked easy to paint. very glad i didn't go with them

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.

Ass.

I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

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