Strictly Average: When Stalking Takes An Ugly Turn...

4.03.2010

When Stalking Takes An Ugly Turn...

*channeling Mick Foley in full interview mode*

Jawaballs.

When the cops caught me in your yard, did I hold that beating against you?

No.

When I asked if you would check in with me before leaving the state (yours, not mine) and you said, "Who are you again?" did I hold that against you?

No. (A little.)

When you came to me and said, "Brent ('cause you know my name now, I'm sure of it) we should totally team up and win the Team Tournament at BoLSCon 2010 (to be held in the last weekend of July in Austin, TX)!" didn't I say, "Jawaballs!" over and over again, like a slightly demented recording?

NO BECAUSE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

It should have.

You have spurned my net-stalking for the last time. Fritz proved susceptible to my badgering, plus a hefty bribe, and we're coming for you! I know you're teaming with Goatboy, but I'm fairly sure he'll be swimming in beer by the time we meet at high noon at BoLSCon 2010 (to be held in the last weekend of July in Austin, TX - register now!)... it's showdown time.

I have to get your attention in one way or another. I leave you with this totally disturbing, creepy image that I'm sure will leaving you quaking in fear.

Till we meet again, Jawaballs, until we meet again.

Brent

(PS: did you notice the shameless plugs?)

9 comments:

Big Jim said...: ROFLMAO!

That's great Brent! We, the patrons of Strictly Average demand lots of photographic evidence and video of this throw-down!

-Jim; April 3, 2010 at 1:50 PM
Big Whit said...: The one at the convention and not in Jawaballs front yard!; April 3, 2010 at 8:55 PM
Ad Astra said...: I just need to pay off JWolf so we definetly face them in the tourney, and get goatboy sauced the night before!; April 4, 2010 at 7:19 AM
Big Whit said...: Be careful, Brent might try to put a ruffy in Jawaballs drink and you might lose your partner. I guess if that happens you could always pick up Goatboy if he is not to hungover.; April 4, 2010 at 2:07 PM
Herr Fernseher said...: So this Fritz vs. Jawaballs Apocalypse game...think there's any chance we can talk them into orgnanizing their forces into battalions which observe the force organization chart? If so, I might actually have a reason to finish painting my 10,000 points of Eldar. (If only to loan some of it to you!); April 6, 2010 at 4:48 PM
Herr Fernseher said...: So this Fritz vs. Jawaballs Apocalypse game...think there's any chance we can talk them into orgnanizing their forces into battalions which observe the force organization chart? If so, I might actually have a reason to finish painting my 10,000 points of Eldar. (If only to loan some of it to you!); April 6, 2010 at 4:48 PM
Unknown said...: Brent, it's good to know you worry me less than Chum and TKE...dear me that is disturbing!; April 7, 2010 at 6:56 PM
Thomas aka Goatboy said...: I always play better sauced! hahahh; April 11, 2010 at 11:06 AM
Brent said...: That you do Goat!

Fear not - I've not forgotten you. I've worked up some Goat Angel casualties as well.

I just haven't wanted to post them since that's included in the article I sent Bell for consideration. I've not heard anything, so it's looking like perhaps my article isn't something they're looking for...

If that's the case, I will (pretend to) be totally resentful and use it to spur greater heights of (faux) outrage!; April 11, 2010 at 12:28 PM

Post a Comment

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.

Ass.

I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

4.03.2010

When Stalking Takes An Ugly Turn...

9 comments:

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