Having a Blast at WAR Games Con

Herr Fernseher here, Brent's dilatory drudge.  Brent scored more points than his opponent in game 5, but called it "a tie, basically."  He has moved up a couple of slots to table 25 for round 6.  This is only 14 slots behind the Honky-slayer.  If Brent wins game 6 big, and the Honky-slayer loses big, we could see the match-up I know all you at home are hoping for in game 7.  I mean seriously, can you think of a bigger Honky than Brent?

This is one of the nice Austinites I've met this weekend.  Cool dreads, cool tats, and hot pink.
In tracking down the Uberjerk Space Wolf general, I had to lean over Honky-slayer's table to see if John Doe on my list of suspects was playing wolves against the Honky-slayer or not.  He wasn't, but I stupidly chose that moment to clear my throat, completely interrupting their game.  Honky-slayer shot me a disgruntled look, but seem immersed in his game enough to ignore that fact that I am pretty white.

Cliffsnotes:  Next up, Sweet Pix, the hunt continues, results for game 6, and swag!

The hunt progresses apace.  I had compiled a list of 8 Space Wolves players, but I knew that a lone wolf had slipped through the cracks.  That's what happens when you tipple while you scribble.  Anyway, I stumbled on him today (no, not literally).  I got the vibe that he could be the one I sought.

I was able to eliminate one player:  Brent played a Space Wolf player in game 6, Marc Nuessen.  He seemed very cool.  When Brent slowplayed him (ok, not really slowplay), I heard Marc say, "no problem," and when Brent introduced me as his indentured servant (no name), Marc very politely shook my hand and gave me his name.  Much better treatment than we people downstairs are used to receiving.

At lunch, Brent said he knew who the Uberjerk was and gave a description of him that matched my lead suspect, so I've gotta go sit in on his game next.  I also have to see if Brent is now facing the Honky-slayer, because Brent did manage to win game 6 by a large margin.

Sitting on High Ground
Defending the Crag

After game 5 Brent celebrated his slightly victorious tie with 2-3 cups of coffee.  He had ordered beer, but thought better of it before the waitress got away.  Funny thing is, by this point he had already downed a large extra strong coffee and 2 red bulls.  Throughout game 6 I brought him ice water, allegedly to keep him cool/hydrated.  And just now I watched him take beer and clear-broth soup for lunch.  It's my hope that Brent explodes in a shower of urine, triggered by his opponent across the table yelling, "YOU GOIN' DIE, H--"  SHPLOOOSH!!!  After every game, Brent says he's having a blast.  Here's hoping the next one is literal!

SAJ has requested painting contest photos.  Lemme lay it on ya, mah brother:
Even more heroic than Jwolf

More to come.  Last but not least, swag!  I think the minis are from Mantic's Kings of War.  The bag had lots of ads, but some good discount coupons as well.


The_King_Elessar said...

Seriously? Who the hell puts an apostrophe there? It doesn't conform to ANY variant or dialect of English I am aware of...even any accent...

Makes me sad and angry, in equal measure.

Jwolf said...

I know. I generated the missions in Word, and then they were translated into the Acrobat files by my Eldar scribe, who felt the need to put an Eldar stamp on that particular mission.

Which is ironic, since that is exactly what the dyin' race is suffering trying to do... (Or is that dy'in?)

Herr Fernseher said...

Interesting. I just assumed someone was trying to be clever, trying to say both "Stayin' Alive" (the song) and "Stay in Alive" since staying in a piece of terrain (alive) was the primary objective.

The Girl said...

That editing job is priceless :-P

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.


I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

Popular Posts