Triggerbaby, baby!

I don't know who Triggerbaby is, but I may just have to stalk him instead of Jawaballs...

Scratch that - I can't give up on him just yet, despite the restraining order.

I was doing the 'crawl and ended up on Greenblowfly's page, there to learn someone named Gwar! has been banned from Dakka.  Again.  Evidently it's a good thing.  If the world is a funny place, Gwar will turn around and create a site called "No, The Truth Is A Bitch" and attract a cult-following, but I digress.  GBF mentioned something about YMDC...  "What," says I, "does that stand for?"  Google tells me it stands for 'Your Make The Call,' popularized by rules lawyers at Dakka who love love love to fight.

It wasn't a wast though, since I came across this little gem from Triggerbaby:

I remember when YMDC used to be people asking rules questions and then 8 or 10 people would answer them before Mauleed weighed in, the cue for an additional five or ten pages of people either slavishly supporting Mauleed or contradicting him on all points because they liked to be contrary retards, all the while a cast of a thousand [see forum posting rules] cheering from the sidelines. The last two pages or so would invariably include at least one fragile momma's boy blubbering about how Mauleed was a
big meanie and how he was going to tell the teacher what a mean bad place Dakka was. That, in turn, would draw assorted queers out of the woodwork (your truely included) to defend the model of Dakka as the rough-and-tumble residency school of the Games Workshop Internet where the occasional swirly or unprovoked savage raping never hurt anybody except the victim so really boy will be boys. And that, of course, meant that the healing circle crowd had to join the scrum and defend the model of Dakka as some sort of internet 40K utopia where everybody was a milquetoast and all posts were civil and we would all use three seashells instead of toilet paper. This would continue ad nauseum until MegaDave posted at least four stupid things and nobody even slightly cared anymore whether or not the Furioso Dreadnaught could take a drop pod, not that the answer was forthcoming mind you. And then the thread would be locked and we would all retire to the drawing room for cigars and vaugely homoerotic parlor games until somebody asked the exact same question two days later.

What Dakka were you on?

My kind of humor!


Green Blow Fly said...

Mauleed... He plays Fantasy now. You can thank him for RAW too. Mauleed often proclaimed himself to be the best 40k player in the US. He never answered his challenges though and never won a GT. That was back before the blogs appeared. Stelek followed Mauleed and Gwar followed Stelek in terms of appearing on Dakka and frequently posting there. Mauleed is infamous for his self named Mauleed patterned Space Marines, which existed during 4th edition and were quite solid. Stelek has his various Best of lists and Gwar was a rules lawyer as was Mauleed. I find that I usually agree with Stelek's intrepretations of hte rules.


Mercer said...

The Gwar! fella was a bit of a rules lawyer and know-it-all show off. Seemed aggressive when you didn't agree with him.

Herr Fernseher said...

Very funny! And Triggerbaby has the coolest afro I've ever seen on an Avatar.

"Who's...a sex machine to all the chicks?" Triggerbaby!

"Who's the cat that won't cop out/ When there's danger all about?" Triggerbaby!

"They say this cat," Triggerbaby, "is a bad mother--"
"Shut your mouth!"
"I'm talkin' bout" Triggerbaby!
"Then we can dig it!"

Triggerbaby said...

It's going to be a pretty boring stalk job as I don't do much internet anymore. But if you're looking for more materials from the salad days when I was a goddamn trained dancing internet monkey in a shiney internet tuxedo, the folks down at the OT board sequestered some comments here.

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.


I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

Popular Posts