Brent's 1500pt Tournament, Missions!

Yea, yea... for 99% of you reading, these last three posts are pretty useless.  I can hear you now:

"But Brent, what do we care if you're running some podunk-North-Texas-tournament?  What about some hugs and gropings?  Where are the hugs and gropings, Brent?"

"But Brent, you support Unicorns, why not support my big toe fetish?"

"But Brent, I want to Stalk Jawaballs, too!"

(I'll do you serious bodily harm on that last - don't test me.  He's mine.)

I hear you, I hear you!

But you aren't considering the benefits here... I need experience running tournaments so I can speak knowledgeably on the subject.  My friend and alternate-nemisis the Master Manipulator (every store needs one) has been the Head Cheese in Charge for quite some time.  He's alluded to all the hidden pitfalls, but there's only one real way to learn (the hard way).

(If my brother Richard was the Head Cheese, that'd be pretty freakin' hilarious!)

So be patient!  I'll soon have plenty to write about.

For You Participants

The advance pricing is closed yesterday, and we have 14 participants.  There is room for two more, but those sad sacks will have to pay the door price.

I tell you that to tell you this: while they may gain some hidden understanding of the day based on the mission info I'm dropping in your lap, they're paying for it!
Mission One Dawn of War, Capture and Control
The objective will automatically be placed 12" on and 18" from the right
board edge.
Mission Two Spearhead, Annihilation
Mission Three Spearhead, Seize Ground
There will be five objectives; one in the center and one each in all four
table quarters, defined as 15" each of the two board edges.
Mission Four Pitched Battle, ???

See you tomorrow!


SinSynn said...

Dude...that 'if my Brother' joke....
well, it took me a second, and then I wuz all like:

Please accept this Official 'SinSynn Knucklehead Award.'
You've earned it.....

I'll take those Hugs and Gropings now, thank you very much.

Brent said...

Are you kidding?

Don't worry about it in the slightest! Seriously, my first conclusion will always be that you're joking.

I'd like to think I get you, even if only a little bit! I didn't think a thing about, so seriously don't sweat it.


General Smooth said...

Thanks Syn - would have missed it. I was scratching my head thinking - the master manipulator is Brent's brother?

Oh and Brent...Nice. You're worth it everytime mate! Everytime!

(A new favorite!) Anon: I haven’t even bothered playing a game of 6th yet, cause I have read the rules, and actually understand how they interact with units. I know my armies no longer function how they should, and so I need to change them.

Strictly Average: 'cause 6-inches is all you get.

Stalking Jawaballs since 2009.

Jawaballs: "My butt just tightened up."

Brent, preferred 2-to-1 over Not Brent in a recent, scientific poll.

Brent: emptied the Kool Aid and DRINKING YOUR MILKSHAKE with an extra-long straw.

Unicorns don't exist.

Home of the Stormbuster, the Dyson Pattern Storm Raven.

I'm a comment whore and this whore is getting no play.

Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings.

I think, therefore I blog.

"You should stop writing for everyone else and worry about your crappy blog." - Anon.

Not Brent has been spotted lurking around with a green marker.

He's not like a bad guy from a cartoon, all devious but never quite evil, Not Brent is bad beans, man, bad beans.

Dethtron: "Again I feel obliged to remind you that trying to sound smart only works if you are."

MVB: "I am not one to join the unwashed masses of self-titled 40k experts out there distributing advice from their blogs about exactly how your list should be built..."

Shiner Bock on tap: that's how I choose hotels.

Strictly Average: The Home of Hugs and Gropings.

Don't feed the trolls!

MoD: "Welcome to Brent's head."

Competitive is Consistent.

Dethtron: "...you could use that extra time to figure out a way to get your panties unbunched and perform a sandectomy on your vagina."

Dethtron: “When calling someone an idiot, it's generally best to avoid making grammatical mistakes.”

Warboss Stalin: "You know, if it actually WAS funny, maybe I wouldn't mind."

Mike Brandt: "It's not a successful bachelor party if you don't misplace someone".

"The Master Manipulator (every store needs one): "...now, enough stroking."

Kirby: "I don't know about gropings. Seriously, Brent, keep it in the pants, please."

Loquacious: "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hugs & Gropings or Stalks Jawaballs into Brent's little tribute."

Captain Kellen: "I rate this article a Brent on the Faith Hill to Nancy Pelosi scale!"

Drathmere: "Come for the balls, stay for the Brent? Kind of disturbing, man."

Go no further, lest thee see something thine eyes would fain look past!

Isabelle: "So, thank you for supporting your local and not so local unicorns. A noble gesture like that can show some scared kids out there that they don't have to hide from everyone and it's ok to be who they really are."

There is nothing more interesting than We The People... in all our beautiful, ugly glory!

On Internet Advice: You see, I have an almost religious belief that's it's a huge, colossal waste of time.

...I think I'll call it the Gun Shy Pattern Stormbuster, because after the Internet destroyed my first humble effort, I find I'm a bit worried about the reaction to this one.

Lauby: "Is it left over from that time you thought that you could just complete step one 12 times to meet the mandates of that court order?"

Not Brent: "I guess we'll have to read on and find out. Signed, Not Brent. Especially today."

Cynthia Davis: "I think the scrolling text is from Glen Beck's new book."

Grimaldi: "Spamming certain units creates interesting possibilities but also fatal weaknesses."

Purgatus: "Math can inform decisions. It cannot make decisions."

Thoughts? Comments? Hugs and gropings?

You'd be that much quicker to figure out what I mean when I refer to a Unicorn if I covered it in a rainbow flag.

SinSynn: (To Brent) "Curse you and your insidious influence on the internets..."

Dave G (N++): "You know you're an internet celebrity when your following is more akin to tabloids."

I prefer the term Internet Personality (or IP) myself, seeing as how I coined it.

Lauby: "Your attempt to humanize him as failed. I feel nothing but scorn for his beard - it's like a warcrime or something."

BBF: "I've always thought you are a good player but I finally figured out that you are a great player. It's hard to see sometimes because your personality is engaging, sincere and quite charming - to me that is kind of a rare combination."

'Clearly cheating?' I didn't misspeak: you jumped to conclusions. If you'd like to apologize I'll be happy to send you an autographed picture of my ass.


I thought I was doing alright before I realized I was losing.

Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time.

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