Editorial: Evil Homer and the IT Army

Evil Homer is my nemesis.  (Hey, check out this article!)

I've mentioned that before, right?

Point being, of all the local characters - most of whom are pretty top flight competition when they want to roll out their best army - I play ol' Homer the most.

I've given it some thought in the past and I believe it's because we have a pretty similar skill set, so all our games tend to be close affairs.

More than that though, he's always - always - pushing the envelope of competitive play.  He sits down to win.  He's a thinker, in the game and out.

Sometimes I think these obsessive traits bite him in the *SELF-EDIT* some.  Whereas most of us can let something go, I'm not sure he really can.  He's never satisfied.

I doubt he ever will be.



So how do these traits impact his hobby?  In numerous ways, methinks, but I'm only really here to talk about the one...

...the IT army.

As long as I've known him, Evil Homer has been on a search for the IT army.  IT's the one that can challenge anyone in any scenario in any year in any event at any points level.  More importantly though, the IT army will challenge him.  He wants something he can think over an obsess over, something that will continue to give up its secrets long after other 'Dexes have spread their slutty pages and yielded forth the (say it loud, say it proud): OPTIMIZED ARMY.

He spent I don't know how much money on an Mech Guard army.  (Our Daemons Vs Mech Guard games are a big part of why I do so well with Daemons in big Indies.)  So he has the army he's spent I don't know how many dollars on, then he spends I don't know how many hours reading about it, then he spent I don't know how many hours cleaning it, then he spent I don't know how many hours putting it together, then he spent I don't know how many hours learning to win with it, then he spent I don't know how many hours painting it...

SCREECHING HALT!

Scratch that last - he didn't paint it, 'cause his mind started *SELF-EDIT* with him and he had to get rid of it.  Mech Guard meets Bartertown - check.  Mech Guard finds a new home - check.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

He's on the search for the IT army, and he decided the Mech Guard weren't it.  If this is beginning to sound impossible, you have a small idea of how much this dude can drive me nuts.

Obviously because I think he's on a search for the impossible.

If you play this game long enough, you realize there are phases.  Currently I'm at the peak of my abilities playing 40K and using Daemons...

...meaning I feel I can play and beat anyone playing any army.  (Yea, you too.)  No, I'm not saying I'm the best - that's all nonsense.  I'm saying I can play with the best and win games.  Not every time, 'cause if you play the right people you'll sometimes lose.  (Bah!  Move on!)  Point is, I'm at the top of my game...

...but I can already feel that slipping away.  I've been playing Warmachine, not 40K, and with all the sharks in the tournament circuit there is no little-bit-okay.

So yea, I imagine my game is suffering right now... and me with tickets to this year's Nova and Wargames Con!

It doesn't bother me too much.  It CAN'T bother me too much... because I've been playing wargames for over 20 years - my adult life, then some.  I've gone through this in the past: 13th Company, Orks, Eldar... all of these are armies I played at a competitive level (meaning multiple tournament wins per army) sometime in the past.  With the 13th Company, I lost the Codex; with Orks the new book saw my army lose steam; and with Eldar... time just took it's toll on my army.

It happens.

In fact, it's happened to all the locals at one time or another: the Master Manipulator (every store needs one) has a beautiful Eldar army that no longer works; Gauthic played Ulthwe Strikeforce - and he lost a 'dex, too; Farseer Tim played Iyanden Eldar and financed numerous armies with them; Little Barrera and the Mighty Mighty Carlos have several variations of Marine armies they've used successfully in the past.

Ghosts of victories past.  Play long enough... it happens.

So Evil Homer is chasing a dream.  The IT army.

No, I don't think he'll catch it... but he's got an interesting idea on how to find it...

In fact, the idea has sparked my imagination: he's considering a 16 book Royal Rumble to determine a winner.  My question is this: just how crazy is it?

(To Be Continued)