7.23.2010

The Ugly, Ugly History of Not Brent

So Part III of On Blogging is up on Blood of Kittens, and if you didn't know by now the interview was with Dethtron from SELF-EDIT *masculine reproductive equipment* Move.

You can find the link here.

CliffNotes: A possibly possible version of the origins of Not Brent.  Oh, and and in the spirit of duality that is Brent / Not Brent, there are two pictures of quite possibly the coolest stolen content conversion ever.


Here's an interview question that didn't end up in the final article...

My therapist wants to know why you torment me with Not Brent.  What is that and how did it get started?


It all started on a dark and stormy night.  You left an offhand comment on one of my articles about knowing what the next FNIF was going to be about.  You then declared you hoped to win it.  I’m pretty sure it had something to do with a Footdar list (one of my favorite things to rag on).  Too make a short story long, I was already covering something else that didn’t involve you.   I went about my business with the intent to put you in the polls anyway, since most of my polls have inside jokes or things that aren’t really related to the fight in them (and those usually win the polls).  Then I forgot.  Then I remembered that I forgot.  Then I realized that it was too late to add you to the poll.  So, I did what any right thinking human would do and I gave you your own poll.  All I had to do was figure out what people who didn’t want to vote for you could vote for.  Then it hit me- not Brent was the only logical answer.  This may also have been a vague reference something in whatever P.K. Dick novel I was reading at the time (Valis or Maze of Death as I recall).

Let's break it down... and here's a picture just to keep this somewhat hobby related.

Quite possibly the coolest conversion ever.

It all started on a dark and stormy night.  You left an offhand comment on one of my articles about knowing what the next FNIF was going to be about.  That's an ugly rumor.  I don't believe it.  You then declared you hoped to win it.  If I allegedly made such a comment, I'm pretty sure I'd want to win, too.  I’m pretty sure it had something to do with a Footdar list (one of my favorite things to rag on).  Fritz and Brent are going to win the team tournament at BoLSCon - oops, sorry: WarGames Con next week.  Too make a short story long, I was already covering something else that didn’t involve you.   I went about my business with the intent to put you in the polls anyway, since most of my polls have inside jokes or things that aren’t really related to the fight in them (and those usually win the polls).  Then I forgot.  Okay, still following you...  Then I remembered that I forgot.  Okay, I lost you.  Then I realized that it was too late to add you to the poll.  So, I did what any right thinking human would do and I gave you your own poll.  That... is funny logic.  All I had to do was figure out what people who didn’t want to vote for you could vote for.  Then it hit me- not Brent was the only logical answer.  That... is funnier logic.  This may also have been a vague reference something in whatever P.K. Dick novel I was reading at the time (Valis or Maze of Death as I recall).  And the last sentence turns the whole thing a complete 180, the mark of an evil genius.

(See?)

So Dethtron put up a poll asking people to vote for Brent or Not Brent... and being the OCD headcase I am, I couldn't stand the idea of losing to Not Brent.  Whatever.  I kicked into SELF-EDIT *the oldest occupation* myself for votes.  I was everywhere, linking back to the poll and asking for votes!  I'm sorry to say, it quickly became the cool-kid thing to vote for Not Brent.  Chumby voted Not Brent!

I also had the goal of getting more votes for my mini-poll than the main poll received, and I almost did it too.  I think the final poll had like 85 voters, only two or so short of the number that voted in the main FNIF poll.  Not bad, since I started a few days after.

I thought that would be the end of it.  How wrong I was.  Not Brent torments me.  I think he may even work in collusion with others to torment me...

For example, recently Dethtron posted that if his site reached 100 Followers (I hate that term, by the way) before Strictly Average, Not Brent wins!

So, what happens?  You got it.  OCD kicks in and I'm begging for votes.  And why did I take it so seriously?  'Cause Project Mayhem has all sorts of miscreants who are capable of all manner of deviltry and deviousness.  It was entirely possible that he could ride that wave right over my poor head.

Luckily, I had a head start and easily crested 100 peeps - and thanks to all of you!  So what happens?

That's right.  Not Brent wins.

No matter what.

16 comments:

  1. "My Interview with Brent just went live on Blood of Kittens. Homework assignment: "Boner" is now a punctuation mark, use it in the BoK post. Best comments get featured this weekend."

    I can get a screen shot of that if you want Not Brent. I guess we can ask Brent if he wants evidence that Dethtron wanted to sabotage his career on BoK.

    Messanger

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would LOVE the screenshot!

    Can you mail it to brent@strictlyaverage.com ??

    You've made my day!

    Brent

    Oh, and Not Brent hurts Brent's feelings, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Screenshot has been sent boner For some reason it is 2 and half MB boner Might have something to do with me not paying attention to the file type boner boner Can my blog move into the "Bloggers Who Blog section" now?

    Messanger

    ReplyDelete
  4. Done boner boner boner and how boner Thanks a ton, mate boner

    (See? I can do it too, Dethtron.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ability to "do it" notwithstanding you still can't ever win

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's because you keep stacking the deck against me.

    You know you do.

    I see Not Brent everywhere and whenever anyone says something nice I'm worried it's a Project Mayhem.

    *sigh*

    I'm long suffering I am.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well boner that makes a lot of sense boner

    ReplyDelete
  8. Man boner I can't wait for my site to get this type of responses boner

    Ok boner I just wanted to type out boner as punctuation boner

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey boner boner boner I think I'm in that screenshot of followers boner

    ReplyDelete
  10. I say (not) Brent must battle Brent on a fiery hillside with naked chicks (or doods?) for all eternity...or until tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yay boner I'm in the Bloggers Who Blog section boner Suck my *self-edited* boner

    Messanger

    ReplyDelete
  12. This post should definitely get a stickie boner

    ReplyDelete
  13. In other news, keep going Brent - Strictly Average is now up to the third page of Brent + Average searches on Google. I believe in you!

    ReplyDelete