6.17.2010

Drinking the Kool Aid

I wanna be super-serial whicha uno momento, s'il vous plait.  I've just downed the Kool Aid and it turns out it was spiked.  Here's some rambling stream of unconsciousness comin' at ya.

Chances are, someone thinks you suck.



Ye Ol' Blogosphere is divided into forum hounds, bloggers, and lurkers, and let's take the last first, because it's the easiest.  Lurkers are the vast majority of the readership of any of our hobby sites.  The proof is easy - just shake out ol' Google Analytics or whatever program you happen to be using.  Now separate out the unique IP's and kick the bots in the butt and you'll get a pretty good idea of how many people are reading what you wrote.

Or at least skimming it.  I try to make a science of blog-length.  What's too short and what's a wall of text?  Who knows?  Let's push it and find out.

(Honey, where's my drugs... er, medicine?)

I'm soooo ready for medical mj and legal bj, just so I can buy that poor bastard down the street 15 seconds of happiness.  He'd accept it, too, if he wants any satisfaction out of life before he croaks.  His wife - I can hear her from a block away - is kinda like my ex-whore but without the redeeming qualities.

Which I can't remember now, more fool I.  Thank God for Jenn and where the hell was I?

Lurkers don't post, so we know zip all about them; they may think you suck, too, but we can't know that.  Let's stick with that most separate of breeds, the forum-hound and the blogger... and never the Twain shall meet in King Arthur's Yankee Doodle Dandee. 

(Only Herr Fernseher will appreciate that last, I suspect.)

I'm biased towards blogs.  I like the flow, I like the communication.  I hate reading Dakka and watching a bunch of monkeys fucking a football.  Person A asks rules question.  Person B answers.  Person A tells Person B he's an idiot.  Person B gets offended but tries to rationalize.  Person C gets involved.  Lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

Still, I'm aware bloggers can swarm the unsuspecting e-tard on any of a number of different sites.  The battle lines are drawn... are you Bell or are you ZombY?  Or do you try and please them all like a hooker at happy hour and get accused of drinking the Kool Aid?

JWolf, JWolf - he cries, typing with one hand whilst griping Mr. Bungle in the other, having had that most inquisitive and thankfully disease-free little mind grazed by the passing blow from the ZombY Master - and don't we all know the grazing blow hurts that worst?

Except for the Unicorns out there - and ya truly are that mythical 'cause I don't believe in ya one little bit.

Do I own it?  Do those haunting words, "...sometimes you drink the Kool Aid," strike home, infecting my gut like Paris Hilton's favorite tapeworm?  Does it send me running back into the arms of Jawaballs?

Heh.

He turned his back on me never comes around, much like a random Fly Lord who used to drop by and gift me a morsel.

In getting along to get along I've been sent along.  Nobody loves a moderate.

But I say thee nay, foul world not-to-be-confused-with-fowl-world (because bird parasites are the worst), I will continue on my coarse course, doing what I do, regardless.  I will put aside the grape Kool Aid, the orange, green and blue too, and leave you with this.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE.

With my extra-long straw.

(Honey, the pink pill - the pink pill...)

13 comments:

  1. your milkshakes bring all the blogs to the yard, and their blog is better than yours, damn right its better than yours, something something something, and I have to charge...

    no really get back on your meds, rants without context aren't rants they're confusing.

    This post makes my head hurt, your post made my head hurt....quick someone get the trepanning kit.

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  2. I'm with Chum on this one, I have no idea what that was all about

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  3. Ummm... I think I know what you're on about. Milkshake, Coolaid... A real man's drink is Dr. P.
    And I've been all 3 of the above in my time/in my day. I don't know why toy soldiers gets everyone so riled up! It's worse than Fox making news up to create controvery. It's worse than polititians trying to feign innocense. Lets all hug a tree people, and play a game.

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  4. Master Manipulator (every store needs one)June 17, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    Did someone make fun of your storm raven again?

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  5. Is there a Cliff's Notes version of this? Lol. Too much to dig through before my morning coffee! :)

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  6. Cliff Notes: the whole thing was written to make Matt laugh. He'll get a kick out of it.

    I'm not mad, there's no hate - I'm just in a strange mood.

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  7. Enjoyed the rant, as well as your approach to blogging affiliations, milkshakes, and such.

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  8. "OH, YEAH" (Man, wasn't the Kool-Aid shill--I mean spokespitcher (pun intended)--a blast? He was basically an anarchic yesman with a sugar addiction. Just say yes to drugs, kiddies! Is it anywonder the drink got spiked?

    Ah, gonzo-blogging! I'll follow you down the rabbit hole, Brent--I lol'ed several times--but don't be surprised if your readership dwindles!

    EH also go a laugh--and saved me the trouble of looking up those song lyrics. He's so dope. However, he shouldn't be giving you drug advice; maybe your readers should be considering what drugs they could take to better understand a rant without context? (Oh no, did I just get you in trouble with the Alliance censors?) Sleep deprivation always does just fine for me!

    And shame on you, Brent for not believing in Unicorns. If this doesn't convince you, nothing will:

    http://wildammo.com/2009/07/27/unusual-paintings-of-obama-naked-with-unicorns/

    Ok, ok, so this might explain some of your cynicism:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtxqtBq0uVw&feature=player_embedded#

    but just because you can't believe in Obama doesn't mean you can't believe in unicorns!

    And, Brent, I followed the Spanish, I followed the French, but I'm too lazy to try to track down "whicha." ?


    Man, I'm Jonesing for some Kool-Aid now...

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  9. Hmmm. I just realized that people mistake you for insane when you are trying to make me laugh. Should I be worried about that?

    On a completely unrelated topic, the best birthday card I ever received had a picture of a monkey humping a football.

    ...

    Ok, so maybe that was a little bit related.

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  10. I confess that I'm doing a lousy job of paying attention to anything not BoLSCon related these days.

    I promise my mind is untroubled by comments from any peanut gallery around, though.

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  11. Someone is feeling neglected after all the e-attention they got from Dethtron.

    I've been giving out cookies all day. But because your special here are some just for you :)

    http://203.142.18.65/karen/choc_chip_cookies_closeup.jpg

    Should taste very nice with some milkshake...

    Messanger

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  12. JWolf: Well, this certainly wasn't the post to rouse your attention away! I hope you don't feel like it was a colossal waste of time.

    Messanger: ...

    *munch munch*

    ...what?

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